I say, why not? Whatever happened to personal freedom? I raise you one ‘bloody fantastic’.. :-)
Many of my single male friends (most of my friends, that is) who do not fit child-man/odyssey years stereotype report on another equally weird thing. Women checking their entire family history out on the first date. The first time it happened to a friend in Sili Valley, he was so shocked. He had never been ‘treated like a sperm bank before’ (his words). Is it any wonder that so many men want to run away from these loudly ticking biological clocks?
We all have our peculiarities which may be getting worse and more pronounced in this self-centered age. But who should really be casting the first stone?
Had to respond to Shefaly…Wow, that is pretty funny! There are ups and downs to all sides, we should be particularly aware, that’s it…Save the stones for constructing something meaningful…Possibly a bridge to connect the two??
I like the idea of using the stones to build rather than flinging them. But clearly there is a divide, and Shefaly actually puts her finger on where its source lies — biology. Having said this we seem to be in an age where that isn’t such a prevalent concern, and power relationships are shifting between girls and boys accordingly. Overall, across genders, there is an increasing childishness, and a heavier focus on image and look — the superficial over the substantial. In this sense much of modern culture is under the sway of Paris Hilton and her ilk…And probably always has been.
“..Having said this we seem to be in an age where that isn’t such a prevalent concern..”
Many researchers, including Sylvia-Ann Hewlett, who work on women’s issues, note that women’s reliance on advancements in science really is misplaced. In that sense, panicking women are right but I have found the smartest of my male friends completely oblivious to the concept of biology’s limitations (God knows what they were doing in 8th grade biology classes!). Hence the divergent expectations.
So the reality is that (to paraphrase – with apologies – Jane Austen) a single woman in possession of a sky-rocketing career and a ticking biological clock must be in want of a husband. And the prospect is improving his handicap on his Wii or racing Laguna Seca on PSP2 (it is not just men, you know…).
Shefaly: Thanks for the links. An interesting issue, to be sure. And one that is clearly not “fixed” — changes in culture and common practices obviously alter gendered behaviors and expectations.
Necromancer: Probably I spoke too soon about hope. I notice my comment on this post by Penelope bringing me a tonne of traffic so I went back to see what I said. The post is about Gen-Y being advised to move back home with parents…
Shefaly: I take you point about prolonged adolescence. Though I am somewhat guilty of this myself. As the son of a single mom and an only child, I have a particular dynamic with my parent. She’s at times like a big sister, and there have been many occasions where cash was tight where I’ve stayed at home during grad school — and there were also a few occasions where I helped her out. But in general I see the merit of your criticism.
February 9, 2008 at 3:07 am |
Depressing.
February 9, 2008 at 6:25 pm |
This article was well written and hit it straight on…Uberfrau stated it best “Depressing…” and not just for men.
February 10, 2008 at 12:19 am |
I see the two depressings and raise you one tragic. And silly. Let’s not forget silly…
February 10, 2008 at 11:02 am |
I say, why not? Whatever happened to personal freedom? I raise you one ‘bloody fantastic’.. :-)
Many of my single male friends (most of my friends, that is) who do not fit child-man/odyssey years stereotype report on another equally weird thing. Women checking their entire family history out on the first date. The first time it happened to a friend in Sili Valley, he was so shocked. He had never been ‘treated like a sperm bank before’ (his words). Is it any wonder that so many men want to run away from these loudly ticking biological clocks?
We all have our peculiarities which may be getting worse and more pronounced in this self-centered age. But who should really be casting the first stone?
February 11, 2008 at 11:56 pm |
I will.
February 15, 2008 at 6:30 am |
But, of course, Uberfrau!
February 15, 2008 at 6:15 pm |
Had to respond to Shefaly…Wow, that is pretty funny! There are ups and downs to all sides, we should be particularly aware, that’s it…Save the stones for constructing something meaningful…Possibly a bridge to connect the two??
Ramble on…
February 17, 2008 at 9:48 pm |
I like the idea of using the stones to build rather than flinging them. But clearly there is a divide, and Shefaly actually puts her finger on where its source lies — biology. Having said this we seem to be in an age where that isn’t such a prevalent concern, and power relationships are shifting between girls and boys accordingly. Overall, across genders, there is an increasing childishness, and a heavier focus on image and look — the superficial over the substantial. In this sense much of modern culture is under the sway of Paris Hilton and her ilk…And probably always has been.
February 24, 2008 at 10:54 am |
Necromancer:
“..Having said this we seem to be in an age where that isn’t such a prevalent concern..”
Many researchers, including Sylvia-Ann Hewlett, who work on women’s issues, note that women’s reliance on advancements in science really is misplaced. In that sense, panicking women are right but I have found the smartest of my male friends completely oblivious to the concept of biology’s limitations (God knows what they were doing in 8th grade biology classes!). Hence the divergent expectations.
So the reality is that (to paraphrase – with apologies – Jane Austen) a single woman in possession of a sky-rocketing career and a ticking biological clock must be in want of a husband. And the prospect is improving his handicap on his Wii or racing Laguna Seca on PSP2 (it is not just men, you know…).
March 2, 2008 at 11:34 pm |
There may be hope with the next generation…Link
March 3, 2008 at 2:19 pm |
TN: Here is an interesting conversation along the same drift: Link
March 3, 2008 at 8:45 pm |
Shefaly: Thanks for the links. An interesting issue, to be sure. And one that is clearly not “fixed” — changes in culture and common practices obviously alter gendered behaviors and expectations.
March 5, 2008 at 12:27 am |
Necromancer: Probably I spoke too soon about hope. I notice my comment on this post by Penelope bringing me a tonne of traffic so I went back to see what I said. The post is about Gen-Y being advised to move back home with parents…
Link to comment
Infantile behaviour is here to stay. Women need to find other ways to have chillun… :-)
March 5, 2008 at 9:15 am |
Shefaly: I take you point about prolonged adolescence. Though I am somewhat guilty of this myself. As the son of a single mom and an only child, I have a particular dynamic with my parent. She’s at times like a big sister, and there have been many occasions where cash was tight where I’ve stayed at home during grad school — and there were also a few occasions where I helped her out. But in general I see the merit of your criticism.